Is your Future Predetermined by your Past ?
By Charles Vella
As adults we like to think that our actions, behaviours, decisions and choices are our own and independent of past influences like our parents, teachers and or older brothers or sisters… Nothing could be further from the truth, in fact every action and reaction we have in life is due to acting and reacting from our past.
Our core personalities and behaviours stem from our exposure to life during our early years from birth to about 7 years of age give or take.
During this time we experience imprinting and we learn unconsciously to cope with anxious parents, angry and frustrated parents who yell at each other, parents with vices such as alcohol dependence or who have abusive personalities. We learn to cope with socialisation in day care centres, being left at day care or preschool for the first time, being accidently lost in a shopping centre to being bullied by older children and even sexual abuse.
Every experience is recorded by the subconscious during every waking minute and reviewed while we sleep; we somehow try to make sense of our world, our parents, teachers, friends and even the bullies we meet in life already. And the one most common thing we all establish very early on in life is the “I’m NOT good enough” self-talk or feeling.
Then as we grow we behave from our already established coping strategies that were formed at an age when we were too young to know better and un-resourced at the time.
As adults every action and reaction we experience is based on our past experiences and wait for it…. Every plan or dream we have for the future is from that same blueprint of the past..! We are writing our predetermined futures from the blueprint of our past and a 5 – 7 year old is the draughtsperson… the careers we choose, the friends we keep, the lovers and lifelong partners we attract and even our finances are a direct result of our past teachings or influences.
So am I doomed? Not at all, if your life is working out just great and you really do love your life and even your I’m not good enough doesn’t get in the way, then your predetermined future is not a problem at all.
However if you notice areas of your life that you are not happy with and can’t seem to make a change no matter how hard you try, or behaviours you wish you didn’t indulge in or display… Then you really should look for some way to rewrite the past so you can alter your imprinted behaviours or coping strategies.
Working with me; Charles Vella in either coaching or therapy sessions can change the way you naturally behave in life and no longer need to rely on coping mechanisms.
To find out just how I can help you simply visit: